Procrastinating Fool's Day, Aprilcot 3, 41 A.B. ...
First of all, an apology for last night's notify list mess. I really didn't hit the Send button 146 times, and neither did Jester. ONElist simply had a catch in its programming. Gee, a free online service that operates less than perfectly - can you imagine??
Although last night's problem will probably never happen again, I've decided to henceforth reserve the use of notifies for major news, like the discovery of a color scheme for these pages that I like enough to use more than once. When I've done nothing more than post another insipid little entry, I'll do my best to let you know telepathically. For those who suspect I'm as inept at telepathy as I am at everything else starting with "t", I'll be happy to drop a follow-up notice in a snail-mail box if you'll give me your address and a stamp. Or even half a stamp, reasonable man that I am.
*Insert smooth, witty, and wonderful segue here before uploading*
My neighbor recently came home from wintering in Florida. She brought back and gave me a few frozen pieces of grouper her son had caught, just because she's a sweet neighbor and all. Unfortunately, I'd never heard of this fish before, so when she said grouper I heard groupie. Yes, nothing like the phrase "fillet of groupie" when it comes to putting an interesting expression on someone's face. In fact, it wasn't until we went to our local Red Lobster restaurant last night and saw grouper on the wall that my face returned to its normal, Tigger-like appearance.
Ok, so it was actually a plaque of a fish labeled grouper that was on the wall. And it was actually a pretty good looking fish despite the fact that a friend had told me that it was quite the ugly beast of the sea. I guess when you're in the restaurant business, you learn pretty quick that displaying ugly versions of what you're serving doesn't go over very well. I'm just not sure now if the alternative is hiring a plaque-making artist willing to take liberties with the truth or paying to have plastic surgery performed on fish models. Anyway, I was awfully tempted to point at that grouper wall plaque when our waitress came to take my order, just to mock all those people who go to the lobster tank under the plaque and point out their still-scurrying dinner. But I didn't. I do have some self-restraint, after all. And I didn't want to embarrass any actual groupies who might come over and ask me for my autograph as I ate, only to be told that they'd have to earn my signature by pulling a few splinters out of my gums first....
And speaking of getting older...
My wife turned 41 today. Happy birthday, Darling! I'm enjoying being part of your life even as your age comes ever closer to your dew point. And I think I'll still enjoy being part of your life when the frost or the dew finally comes in a year or two and I have to start doing laundry a bit more frequently. Just don't stop letting me win at Scrabble - ok?
Did I get her a gift? You bet! I got her a fancy office chair to use in her school classroom. Finally, after 14 years of teaching, she'll have a nice soft place to periodically park it during the day. I realize an office chair might not sound terribly romantic, but the flowers I got her last year proved terribly difficult to get up from, lacking both handles and a pneumatic height lever as they did.
How long do you think it will be before all her students want cushy office chairs, too? Personally, I know I often found myself dying to have a recliner when I was in school. In fact, I might not have left school when I did had I had a recliner, the next senior class and the after-hours cleaning staff alike be damned....
Well, too late now to do anything about that.
Indeed, too late now for anything but bed.
And don't let the notifies bite!
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