Monday, December 6, 1999

Trying To Do A Second Time What Shouldn't Be Done At All

     So: I'm back.  And I've got the head full of second thoughts to prove it.
     At least those are far less burdensome than the sacks of guilt they've taken the place of.
     Consider:  Since ending "Almost A Jester's Journal" back on Nov. 15, I've seen

- the sun showing its face fewer and fewer hours every day

- tens of millions of turkeys completely disappear

- riots in Seattle

- NASA engineers unable to summon up the concentration necessary to land a single little probe on Mars

- more and more women complaining that their menstrual cycles are completely out of whack

     Enough!  As much as I would prefer to just sit back and laugh at all the troubles of the world, the knowledge that I might be responsible for most of those troubles kinda puts the damper on things. 
     Especially since it now looks as if my own menstrual cycle is on the verge of being affected. 

     So: I'm back.  And suddenly faced with all the problems which caused me to go away in the first place.
     The having to pretend that HTML is a proper way for unincarcerated adults to communicate.
     The suspicion that masochistic readers are illegally using my dull wit to painfully shave IQ points off their cerebellums.
     The fear that my uploaded hot-headedness is inadvertently shrinking résumés all across Ohio, and possibly Peru.
     The certain knowledge that at least three people habitually use my entries to sop up their pools of unwanted consciousness merely because they're too lazy to become alcoholics.

     A classic case of "Damn if I do, damned if I don't" isn't it?
     Fortunately,  the Ukrainians came to my rescue.
     On November 27 they restarted their sole functioning nuclear reactor at Chernobyl despite the lessons of history, the pleas of world leaders, and their own best judgment.  What made them choose the course they did? The belief that Western countries will soon pay them hundreds of millions of dollars to do something better and much safer with their time.
     I'm willing to settle for a mere fraction of that!

     Let the race to see who gets their money first to end their threat to the global biosphere begin!



(All Material ©1999 by Dan Birtcher exactly as foretold in the Book of  Revelation)