Wednesday, Nov. 14, 42 A.B.
Official Leaf Recount Results
I recently mentioned how I've been raking leaves.
Remember?
I estimated I was picking up about 100 leaves a rake-scoop, and that it was taking me about 100 rake-scoops to clear my yard of leaves.
Turns out I was wrong.
Instead of settling for an estimate, I actually paused amidst the festivities last Friday, sat down with an average size rake-scoop chosen at random, and counted the little guys.
Turns out that one rake-scoop contained exactly 400 leaves (not counting broken pieces or leaf dust particles).
This means I've seriously misstated the situation here.
Instead of collecting some 10,000 leaves per raking, I've been collecting 40,000.
Which means I now have about 120,000 leaves sitting in front of my house waiting to be picked up by the city - not 30,000.
No wonder I've been feeling so tired lately!
I thought maybe it was the anticipatory excitement that had been wearing me out. After all, I've now been waiting some 10 days for the big truck with the huge vacuum attachment to come and suck me leaf-less. If you were ever a teenage girl waiting for Elvis to appear on a stage in front of you, you know the agony of desire I've been experiencing. And you know how draining it can be when you realize something's wrong and they send out the same warm-up act twice. Even though I'm sure that my regular trash pick-up truck is much better than the average stage warm-up act, the fact remains that 10 days would be a long time to wait for "Heartbreak Hotel" let alone the surreal scene of a year's worth of leaves disappearing up the snout of a tube in under 3 minutes flat. Maybe dinner with Elvis would have been as exciting - I don't know. All I can say for sure is that I'm NEVER going to get the squirm marks out of my chair....
Ummmm, I just told you much more than you ever wanted to know, didn't I?
Sorry.
Big Truck Deprivation Syndrome can make a man do very strange things....
(©Now by DJ Birtcher)
(©Again by DJ Birtcher in an attempt to take his mind off the wait)
(©Again by DJ Birtcher in an attempt to take his mind off the wait)
(©Again by DJ Birtcher in an attempt to take his mind off the wait)
(©Again by DJ Birtcher in an attempt to take his mind off the wait)
(©Again by DJ Birtcher in an attempt to take his mind off the wait)
(©Again by DJ Birtcher in an attempt to take his mind off the wait)
(©Again by DJ Birtcher in an attempt to take his mind off the wait)
(©Again by DJ Birtcher in an attempt to take his mind off the wait)
(©Again by DJ Birtcher in an attempt to take his mind off the wait)
(©Again by DJ Birtcher in an attempt to take his mind off the wait)
(©Again by DJ Birtcher in an attempt to take his mind off the wait)
(©Again by DJ Birtcher in an attempt to take his mind off the wait)
(©Again by DJ Birtcher in an attempt to take his mind off the wait)
(©Again by DJ Birtcher in an attempt to take his mind off the wait)
(©Again by DJ Birtcher in an attempt to take his mind off the wait)
(©Again by DJ Birtcher in an attempt to take his mind off the wait)
(©Again by DJ Birtcher in an attempt to take his mind off the wait)
(©Again by DJ Birtcher in an attempt to take his mind off the wait)
(©Again by DJ Birtcher in an attempt to take his mind off the wait)
(©Again by DJ Birtcher in an attempt to take his mind off the wait)
(©Again by DJ Birtcher in an attempt to take his mind off the wait)
(©Again by DJ Birtcher in an attempt to take his mind off the wait)
"IS THE DRIVER OF THE TRUCK NAMED GODOT OR WHAT?!?!"