Julitis 6, 41 A.B.

"Report: JFK, Jr. Lost Control of Plane."

- Yahoo News headline tonight

"What?!  AGAIN?!"

- My immediate reaction

Bet Reindeer Games Were Never THIS Fun!

     Maybe you'd like a little... yard update?  Well, as much as I'd love to give you one, I can't.  This morning I was hit with a restraining order barring me from further discussion (online and off) of any and all alleged Leporidae activities that may or may not be taking place in my vicinity. 
     Seems a certain... long-eared, short-tailed burrowing mammal is accusing me of libel.
     Seems it might also be accusing me of "hugging him, and petting him, and squeezing him half to death in the fashion or manner of Lennie Small, the simple giant with a homicidal fur fetish in 'Of Mice and Men' (hereafter known as 'Exhibit A')."
     Honestly, I've never been so insulted since a dirty little quokka accused me of taking drunken liberties with her pouch at an Australian frat party I never even attended!
     Anyway, since I can't really say any more than this (and probably not even this much - shhh, don't tell!), allow me move along to -

Peony Envy

     Yesterday morning's events got me to thinking about my peonies, then about plants in general.
     Although we mammals think we're so special, the apex of the evolutionary pyramid and all that, the fact is that I've never seen a dogwood tree drop a pile of shit in my yard, nor have I ever watched in horror as a catnip plant urinated all over the geraniums.
     And I'm not even going to mention what full-fledged humans can do to the simple flowered wallpaper of an innocent gas station's rest room!

    My point is that plants pretty much take what they need from the soil and the air and don't waste much, whereas we oh-so-smart humans repeatedly think nothing of trying to down a case of Miller beer or over-indulging at a none-too-clean Mexican restaurant and then proceeding to spend the next 12 hours injecting more beer and burrito sauce back into the biosphere than any respectable biosphere can really use.
     True, some trees drop their leaves all over the place come the fall, but face it: If YOU had to stand out in the cold night air of autumn for weeks on end, something probably would fall off of YOU, too.  And besides, you're forgetting all those very prim and proper evergreens which never really seem to drop much of anything at all no matter how cold it gets, so, like, you know - shut up, biped.

     Umm, wait - before you do that... Does anybody know why I brought this up?  Is there a point that you can see from your perspective?  I seem to suddenly have a cat between me and my screen...

     Never mind.  
     The mood past.  
     Thanks, anyway.

And Now For Something REALLY Weird

     I found a book on my book shelf tonight that I have absolutely no memory of ever seeing before.
     "Cairo: 5500 Years" by Desmond Stewart (©1968).
     I found it right between "Passport To World Band Radio - 1993" and "The Body Language of Sex, Power, & Aggression" by Julius Fast (©1977, the first year I tasted beer and burritos - ahem).
     Ok, so my shelving system needs a little bit of work.
     The question is, Who put that book there?  And might it be a device to guide missiles to my office??
     Which reminds me -

Note About Tomorrow's Entry

     The U.S. military says it's planning on testing tomorrow that anti-ballistic missile system it's been developing since Lincoln first gave the ok.  
     I suspect it's all a ruse.
     I suspect it's really an anti-blather system that they're going to be trying out.
     Just so that someday soon the U.S. Government will be able to shoot down and destroy my entries within seconds of my posting them.
     I suspect that Republicans in Congress are pushing for that.
     I have it on good authority (i.e., common sense) that they hate the competition.
     I tell ya, if it ain't the Leporidae, it's the Golfer's Caucus. 

     How I wish I were an evergreen!!

     (Well, an evergreen well off the fairway, anyway....)

Indulge Your Nostalgic Desires
For Yesterentry


Curl Up With An Index Page
That Can Be VERY Friendly
(All Major Credit Cards Accepted)


An Entry Of Mass Destruction
Hidden In A Suitcase And
Smuggled Into The Very Center
Of The World Wide Web


(©Now by Dan Birtcher using only the tip of his best pine cone)