6, 41 A.B.
JFK, Jr. Lost Control of Plane."
- Yahoo News
- My immediate
Reindeer Games Were Never THIS Fun!
Maybe you'd like a little... yard update? Well, as much as I'd love
to give you one, I can't. This morning I was hit with a restraining
order barring me from further discussion (online and off) of any and all
alleged Leporidae activities that may or may not be taking place in my
Seems a certain... long-eared, short-tailed burrowing mammal is accusing
me of libel.
Seems it might also be accusing me of "hugging him, and petting him, and
squeezing him half to death in the fashion or manner of Lennie Small, the
simple giant with a homicidal fur fetish in 'Of Mice and Men' (hereafter
known as 'Exhibit A')."
Honestly, I've never been so insulted since a dirty little quokka accused
me of taking drunken liberties with her pouch at an Australian frat party
I never even attended!
Anyway, since I can't really say any more than this (and probably not even
this much - shhh, don't tell!), allow me move along to -
Yesterday morning's events got me to thinking about my peonies, then about
plants in general.
Although we mammals think we're so special, the apex of the evolutionary
pyramid and all that, the fact is that I've never seen a dogwood tree drop
a pile of shit in my yard, nor have I ever watched in horror as a catnip
plant urinated all over the geraniums.
And I'm not even going to mention what full-fledged humans can do to the
simple flowered wallpaper of an innocent gas station's rest room!
My point is that plants pretty much take what they need from the soil and
the air and don't waste much, whereas we oh-so-smart humans repeatedly
think nothing of trying to down a case of Miller beer or over-indulging
at a none-too-clean Mexican restaurant and then proceeding to spend the
next 12 hours injecting more beer and burrito sauce back into the biosphere
than any respectable biosphere can really use.
True, some trees drop their leaves all over the place come the fall, but
face it: If YOU had to stand out in the cold night air of autumn for weeks
on end, something probably would fall off of YOU, too. And besides,
you're forgetting all those very prim and proper evergreens which never
really seem to drop much of anything at all no matter how cold it gets,
so, like, you know - shut up, biped.
Umm, wait - before you do that... Does anybody know why I brought this
up? Is there a point that you can see from your perspective?
I seem to suddenly have a cat between me and my screen...
The mood past.
Now For Something REALLY Weird
I found a book on my book shelf tonight that I have absolutely no memory
of ever seeing before.
"Cairo: 5500 Years" by Desmond Stewart (©1968).
I found it right between "Passport To World Band Radio - 1993" and "The
Body Language of Sex, Power, & Aggression" by Julius Fast (©1977,
the first year I tasted beer and burritos - ahem).
Ok, so my shelving system needs a little bit of work.
The question is, Who put that book there? And might it be a device
to guide missiles to my office??
Which reminds me -
About Tomorrow's Entry
The U.S. military says it's planning on testing tomorrow that anti-ballistic
missile system it's been developing since Lincoln first gave the ok.
I suspect it's all a ruse.
I suspect it's really an anti-blather system that they're going to be trying
Just so that someday soon the U.S. Government will be able to shoot down
and destroy my entries within seconds of my posting them.
I suspect that Republicans in Congress are pushing for that.
I have it on good authority (i.e., common sense) that they hate the competition.
I tell ya, if it ain't the Leporidae, it's the Golfer's Caucus.
How I wish I were an evergreen!!
(Well, an evergreen well off the fairway, anyway....)
Your Nostalgic Desires
With An Index Page
Be VERY Friendly
Credit Cards Accepted)
Of Mass Destruction
In A Suitcase And
Into The Very Center
World Wide Web
(©Now by Dan
Birtcher using only the tip of his best pine cone)