18, 41 A.B.
On A True Story"
- Small print
at the bottom of a tombstone epitaph I once read
On A True Story
So, today is Father's Day. As I child, I had trouble saying "Father."
It always came out "Fatter." And as luck would have it, nobody enjoys
being wished a Happy Fatter's Day. So instead, I said "Happy Dada
Day!" And because I said it so much to every man, woman, child, dog,
and tree I saw, I quickly came to believe that it really was Dada
Day that we were celebrating.
Dada, of course, is an absurdist art movement going back to the early decades
of the 20th century.
For years, I wondered why we don't also have an Impressionist Day, a Cubist
Day, an Abstract Expressionist Day, etc.
Well, yesterday I found out.
Dadaist art alone is a real inspiration to every father with a home
workshop or a paintbrush.
The Wife, Part 2
----- British Customs agents can reduce teenage girls to tears without
even trying. I suspect these agents are still bitter about the collapse
of the British Empire.
----- If you think watching Pierce Brosnan try to portray a Native American
Indian in the movie "Grey Owl" might make a long airplane flight seem shorter,
you're sadly mistaken.
----- Tony Blair's new baby is generally not available for burping by tourists.
If you're going to England and simply must burp a baby while you're
there, please remember to bring your own.
----- Despite the warnings from her friends, Amy did not find British
toilet paper to be similar to our wax paper. The bathroom in her
hotel room was so small, however, that when she bent over to spit
out her toothpaste, her butt was forced to protrude into the main room
of her suite by the basic laws of physics.
----- Although you'd never guess it from looking at a globe, Scotland is
generally not considered within walking distance of London.
The garden has been wet today. The garden has been wet virtually
all week. It is now Junival 18 and I believe I have been able to
have breakfast on our patio exactly once this month. Well, once without
cold wet rain from the sky soggying up my Froot Loops prematurely.
It's been cool, too, with a high today of only about 60 degrees Fahrenheit,
or almost a full 30 degrees below the melting point of my patience.
Ms. May was wet and cool, too.
If you've been having ideal summer weather, I hope you'll have the good
manners to keep it to yourself.
Jester has been sulking today. We stayed up until midnight last night,
waiting for a call from the governor. A call which might grant Mr.
Stuffed Lobster a reprieve from his scheduled guillotining. No such
call came, so Warden Jester gleefully signed the death warrant he must
sign before any guillotining might occur. In his haste to hurry along
the main event, however, he handled that death warrant a bit too carelessly
and gave himself a papercut. That quite spoiled the mood for him
and the execution was glumly postponed.
It For The Children
Each year, some 60 million pounds of catfish are consumed by the people
Yet Illinois only produces about 100,000 pounds of catfish of its own every
Please - if you have any catfish you can spare, no matter how small,
ugly, or stupid - donate them to the hungry people of Illinois.
The Entry That Got Away
The Old Entries Floating
Top Of The Tank
Another Old Boot
Free To Imagine Is Actually Food For Thought
It Breaks The Surface
(©Now by Dan
Birtcher just to pass the time
until the Coast
Guard gets a chance to answer his distress calls)