Have you ever come home from school or work hungry for the great taste of lard - only to discover that you're out?  Are you tired of having to make late night runs to your grocery or carry-out for lard?  Do your friends constantly expect YOU to stop at the mall and get the lard on your way over to their house, lodge, or wedding?  Have you ever been tempted to substitute inferior tasting vegetable oil for lard simply because you couldn't wait the 30 minutes it would take for the lard delivery boy to show up with your phoned-in order?  Well, for heaven's sake, why haven't you simply tried rendering your own??

How to render your own lard

Get 2 or 3 pounds of fresh pork fat-back. If you go to a butcher shop, tell the butcher you want it for rendering and he or she  will cut it into coarse chunks, otherwise you will have to do this yourself at home. Place it in a heavy kettle with 1 (one) cup of water. Bring to a boil over medium heat. Once it begins to boil, reduce heat to a medium low and continue to cook until the fat pieces have shrunk to small toasty bits and the fat is a clear yellow. This should take about two hours. When done allow to cool, then store in a glass container in the fridge. Use plastic if you wish, but it will never be squeaky clean again.  Containers assembled of Legos are NOT recommended!

Lard may be served either hot in microwaveable mugs or cold in ice cube-packed tumblers.  A pet food bowl may also be pressed into service for room temperature lard of the sort popular at informal gatherings, family parties, and many wakes provided you remember to keep an easily accessible  punch bowl available at all times for free refills.

Bon appétit!