The 78th Annual Marty Allen Day!

a.k.a.

Marchipelago 23, 41 A.B.


 
 
 
Brought my newspaper in today from the front walk where a lady in a car drops it every morning.  Once I'd brought it in, I read it as usual.

Then I read it again as a Martian might.  I've never done that before and I thought it could be fun.

It was.
 

In fact, "It" was everywhere.

And try as I might, I couldn't quite figure out exactly what "It" was though I read every single article on all 56 pages....

Here are the facts I ended up with, all carefully copied into my official Martian Detective's notebook:
 

For decades it has been one of Taiwan's closest friends and has sent in warships during times of high tension.

A lot of kids drop out because it gets rough on them.

It's not always the money - it's a matter of being able to handle it in the classroom.

"I'm worried that I might not pick it up as fast as others and professors might not break it down like they do in high school," Latisha McClain admitted.

Scientists estimate that it is 183 miles long and 22 miles wide.

"It is quite unbelievable," said David Sepp, vice president of the Alexandria, Va.-based National Taxpayers Union.

"It breaks your heart," said Rose Kobylinski, who once hosted a Voice of America music program targeted at Poland.

"If we do it, we're going to have to pay for it," said Mr. Latta.

"I don't think it should close because it's helped a lot of us," Deborah said.

"I've learned how to control it," said Chris Gonzales, a 16-year-old student.

"It made me do better," Spencer Brasswell, 14, said.

"We can keep it, make it work in a different location," Mr. Haddox said.

It will be up for review by parents and taxpayers at two or three public hearings over the next month, which have not been scheduled.

"It gave our students the chance to learn different languages, " Ms. Haywood-Smith said.

"It is an international signal for the whole world," Mr. Arafat said.

It still holds a majority in the legislature, but even that may not last beyond the next parliamentary elections.

"It reminded me of police reports here in the Reiner child abuse case," Eileen Foley said.

"We had no idea what it was going to cost," Mayor Susan Watt said yesterday.  "It may have cost more, but I think it will put it to rest.  At least we can say we weren't influencing it."

"People step in a pile, and it's on their shoes when they go inside," said Nancy Kleinhenz, presidential center spokeswoman.

"It's something you don't like to have to pay for," Mr. Knoblauch said.

"It would be better suited in an area that doesn't influence the aquifer that services Bryan," Mr. Casebere said.

"I need it in the next couple months," Mary Noggle said.

It could give babies a good start in life and the mothers more reasons to obey the law once they are released from prison, according to Mr. Wilkinson.

The NRC is expected to decide whether to license it in 2006.

"The longer we wait, the worse it gets," Sen. Voinovich asserted.

"We think it's fair and reasonable under the circumstance," Jim Burkhardt, a city attorney involved in the negotiations with the firefighters union said.

"It's frustrating.  It's disappointing," said Tim French, Toledo Zoo curator of large mammals.

Its goggles simulate cataracts.

Spice never used it.

"It helps us win," Boeheim explained yesterday.

"It's something I've waited a long time for," Hamilton said.

"He's had it before.  He can deal with it," Michigan State coach Tom Izzo assured this reporter.

"I don't always understand it," admitted the 6-foot-8, 245-pound Cardinal, who wears bulky knee pads because of all his dives to the floor.

It was voted in for the 1986 season and voted out after 1991, primarily because of delays it caused.  It was reinstated for last season after a series of controversial calls.

It may appear on your driver's license, marriage license, blood donor card, your children's birth certificates, and any application for government benefits.

It works for some in every generation, from Lauren Bacall to Andie MacDowell to Brooke Shields.

"I love it," author Anita Shreve says.  "It's very restorative for me, not depleting."

It was built in 1883 with a two-story outhouse.

Despite its draining length, it proves to be even better and richer on a second viewing.

It may rain tomorrow in parts of the Midwest.
 

Hmmmmm, if only I really WERE a Martian Detective, maybe I'd be smart enough to figure out whatever in the world "It" might actually be....

As it is, it's enough to make me wanna just sit and sigh out both my antennas at once.
 
 

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