acting thursday
marchipelago 30.01, 41 a.b.

Vladimir Putin was elected president of Russia last Sunday.

I've been thinking that I really ought to send him a card or

I mean, I send cards to friends and relatives all the time,
and they don't have thousands of nuclear warheads at their

Most don't even have a single machine gun....

Then it occurred to me:  Maybe I'm Vladimir Putin.

He's now in charge of a land of 6,592,800 square miles.
I have to mow 3/4 of an acre once a week for 7 months of the year.

He's responsible for the lives of some 147,000,000 people.
I have a cat.

He has four years to get things done.
I don't have an endless amount of time to eat, shower, make my
bed, and read the paper myself.

The kicker - the thing that really made me sit up and take notice -
was learning that he used to be a KGB intelligence officer in East

Oh my gawd!  I thought to myself.  I've HEARD of Germany, too!

So here I sit, suddenly unable to decide between going out and
trying to find a Russian-language congratulations card at my local
Hallmark store...

... and paying a hypnotist to help me remember where I stashed all
those damn warheads....

It's just always something, isn't it?

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