Drip Day, Ms. May 11, 41 A.B.
Another Jester's Journal
"The Next Best Thing
To A REAL On-Line Journal!" ™
I've been feeling kinda... laid-backadelic lately. Like somebody
slipped me a slow motion kind of groovy when I was hanging ten or catching
z's. I'm not complaining, but it certainly is a place I don't get
to much anymore.
Like an attic of the mind, and me with legs too weak to get up the damn
rickety ladder safely anymore.
And once I DO get up there, someone needs to call the fire department to
help me get back down.
I think the fire department has better things to do, too.
Like listen to my cat laugh at me from the bottom rung of the ladder....
No matter. Outside of an obvious loss of color control, I doubt that
the casual reader will notice any difference....
Typing "specific" into the Alta Vista search engine has just yielded me
WOW.... ... .. !
I had no idea there was so much specificity out there!
The bag boys at my grocery really need to get themselves some.
Maybe then they'd actually get a few of my groceries in the
And at least one in three of those bags in the right car trunk....
Ok, so we were (giggle) shopping at a home improvement store called Lowe's
on Saturday (heehee!) and we were in the garden department
(*snicker!*) and we found this big, beautiful potted green plant we "liked"
(SNORT!!!) and... and... we went to look at the tag on the side to see
what it was, see (HAHAHA!) and... and it said... "Basic Foliage - $6.99"
(LOLOLOLOL!!!). Like, you know, they're selling GENERIC GREENERY
now! (ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!) And then we went down the next aisle
and saw these smaller plants labeled "Premium Foliage - $9.99" (*NUCLEAR
GUFFFAW!*) and so... and so I picked up one of the "Basic Foliage" numbers,
took it to a clerk and asked... and asked (HEHEHEHEHEHEHE!!!!!)
Damn, I forget.
Have A Dream
Ok, we all have dreams.
I don't mean nighttime dreams - I mean sustaining dreams. Dreams
that keep us going. Dreams that give us a reason to live.
I have several.
Plus a spare.
The only one I can talk about in public, though, is this one:
I want to make a series of movies. A series of genre movies.
A Western. A Roman epic. A space opera. Etc.
And I want to tie them all together not with a plot or a theme or a common
cast but with one guy in the background who never says a line.
A guy whose face is never even seen because he is always reading a newspaper.
See, in the Western the guy would be sitting on a bench or a barrel
outside the general store during the climatic high noon showdown, and he'd
be totally oblivious to the showdown. Because he's reading the
And in the Roman epic, he'd have a front row seat in the Colosseum
as the gladiators battle the lions - but he'd be totally absorbed in
And in the space opera, as the spiffy rocketships shoot fancy lasers
at each other - zip! zip! BOOM! - he'd be visible behind the pilot reading
On and on - Bible epics, gangster flicks, my remake of "One Million Years
B.C." - always the same guy reading a paper!
Weddings, funerals, crowd scenes, mob scenes - always and forever The
Guy and The Paper!
(Or Le Type et Le de Papier to you French amoureux de filmers
and rats de cinéma.)
Because all those movies in which a cast of hundreds focuses on a single
event drive me nuts!
Reality is subjective. Internal. Isolated. We live
in our minds, not the "real" world, and just because this fact doesn't
photograph well - just because cinematographers and directors know they
can focus an audience's attention on subject X by having everyone in the
cast look at subject X - is no reason this fact should be ignored.
Interested parties should send their old but still usable movie studios
to: Dan Birtcher, C/O P.O. Box 8121, Lima, OH 45805-0121 - ATTENTION:
The Buckeye trees are blooming! The Buckeye trees are blooming!
He's moved up to the second rung. Still laughing at me. So:
If he thinks I'm gonna tell you how cute he is tonight, he's one loco felineski.
Instead, the space I usually devote to him will be used to say this: I
just saw a baby brown bunny in my back yard!!!
will now be a 10-second intermission for awwwwwing
Phrase I Learned Today
fashion doctrine which asserts that things just naturally go better when
the government keeps its hands off our bell bottom jeans.
(©Now and Forever
by the One and Inseparable Dan Birtcher)