Ms. May 23, 41 A.B.

(((Third Day Of Medical Transcriptionist Week!)))

"The trouble with being poor is that it
takes up all your time."

- Willem de Kooning, Dutch-born artist

Why There Was No Entry Yesterday

     Ummm, no - it did NOT have anything to do with the above quote.  I may be poor but I have so much experience now that I manage to get all my poverty done by lunch time, leaving the rest of my day free for other things.
     Like reading the newspaper.
     BIG mistake.  I think I'm finally starting to realize why people leave them at the curb by the stack.
     If I hadn't read the newspaper on Sunday, there WOULD have been an entry yesterday.
     Instead, I was mindstruck and bodily paralyzed by the news that Charles Manson helped write a song recorded by the Beach Boys in 1969. 
     No - I don't know why this news took 31 years to reach me, but it did.  This is Ohio.  Give me a break!
     Anyway, it seems old Mad Chuck lived with the Beach Boys' drummer, Dennis Wilson, for a while, and... and...
     I'm sorry, I'm afraid I have to stop or there ain't gonna be an entry again today!
     (But - just between you and me - do you think when the Beach Boys read their newspapers back then and found out Mad Chuck had been inspired to go on his rampage by the Beatles' Helter Skelter they were a mite peeved?  "Damn!  And after all we did for this guy, too!"
     Just... wondering....)

Why There Was No Entry Yesterday (Part 2)

     I also read some other disturbing facts.
     (Hey - if I could think of something else to do with my literacy, I would.)
     Did you know that the U.S. spent three times as much on "defense" last year as Russia and China combined?
     Did you know that the average wage of a Mexican assembly line worker making TVs in Tijuana is 60 cents an hour?

Why There Almost Wasn't An Entry Today

     I watched the TV news last night.
     Haunting... Very haunting.
     Did you know that the U.S. is spending $40 million dollars to get people to use that new-fangled thing called money?
     It's true!
     Ok, so it's not just any money - it's the new gold dollar coin.
     Perhaps you've heard of it?
     Well, one very distinguished gentleman that they cornered on the street never had.
     And two women identified the woman depicted on this coin as "Saskatchewan."
     At least they didn't guess "Sasquatch."  
     Though, come to think of it, I bet a Sasquatch coin would be wildly popular, beastly beast that he is.
     Anyway, the very idea of the government making money and injecting it into the economy so people can have it and pay taxes so that the government might spend it to advertise money...
     I really had to lie down for much of today.

     And then I went to my bookstore.
     The one with shelves and shelves of "inspirational" works and Harlequins - but not a single almanac.
     You know - the best one within 50 miles of my home?
     Anyway, they were selling quarters.
     For $1.95 each.
     Ok, so they're the new state quarters, and they come wrapped in plastic, and there's a little cardboard thing that tells you what they are (duh).
     I'm guessing if you don't already know what it is, you probably didn't know enough to bring enough other quarters or their equivalent to buy this wrapped one in the first place, but apparently the bookstore people know something I don't. 
     Like how to separate suckers from their money.
     Which I guess would explain the shelves and shelves of "inspirational" works and Harlequins.
     So of course I had to buy one of these quarters myself.
     Just because it's so stupid and I collect stupidity whenever I can.  (I figure the more I have in my house, the less will end up in Washington.)
     I mean, can you believe that people would actually pay $1.95 for a quarter just because it's wrapped in plastic and has a cardboard thing explaining what it is?
     Such packaging doesn't add $1.70 to the cost of butterscotch buttons, after all.
     And the butterscotch buttons taste much better!  
     (Sad but true, Massachusetts!  Had to spit ya right out after the first hour of suck-suck-sucking failed to melt so much as your Minuteman's firing rod.  Sorry!)

Question #1


Jester Cat Update

     The cat of the house is ceremoniously propped up against my wife's right thigh as she sits on the couch watching "Third Rock From The Sun."  I think he's afraid she'll blow away in the unrelenting wind of the commercials.
     There will now be a brief pause while I huff and ostentatiously put my Barney doll on my right thigh in a fit of jealous rage....

Question #2

     Does sawdust secretly become seendust the moment I look away?

North To Alaska
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Go West, Young Man!
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(Any similarity to "The Lady or The Tiger" purely coincidental)

(İNow by the oddly banana-deprived Dan Birtcher)