---------- Thursday, Jack-O'Tober 19, 41 A.B. ----------
I no longer have squirrels in my basement crawl space. I took my
neighbor's suggestion and put mothballs around my foundation and the squirrels
are now gone. Coincidence? Perhaps. Or maybe - just maybe
- it has something to do with my choosing to lovingly make my own mothballs
Am still waiting to have my drip-drip-dripping laundry room faucets replaced.
Progress IS being made, however. Yesterday afternoon my landlord
brought a plumber over to survey the situation.
Dear Mr. Bush...
Word has just filtered into my air pocket that you're still going around
saying that you trust the American people. Again and again, you say
you trust them to spend their money better than the federal government,
and to run their local schools better than bureaucrats in Washington, and
on and on. The American people are oh so wise, and oh so good - you
make me wish I could buy me a pair! Even two pair! Plus a spare
for the trunk - maybe a small juvenile good enough to get me as far as
the next house with an extra uncle in it.
Dear Mr. Gore....
I dreamt about you last night.
Final Unnecessary Crudeness Of The Evening
Are you one of the millions of Americans tired
Are you tired of having to run from the room and
hope you find
Well, now there's hope!
Now there's Detrol for the ears!
Just shove three fast-clogging tablets
Please do it for your kids, if not for you.
A temper is a terrible thing to lose.
(Also available in convenient suppository
form for people
(©Now by Jester Cat, the innocent stooge of an evil man whose name you need not know)