Fortunately, our agents have managed to track it
to this abandoned New Jersey server
and are even now attempting to talk it into
acting like a reasonable page and graciously
submit to your desire to read it.
If there's anything you can say to reassure this page
that your intentions are honorable,
that you mean it no harm,
and that all you really want is the opportunity
to drag your eyes softly and lovingly
across its wonderful words,
please report to
as soon as possible!