Tuesday, August 6, 43 A.B.

Thinly Sliced Blather

Avoiding The Creation Of An Expensive Habit With Just Nanoseconds To Spare

As mentioned in my previous entry, I went out on Sunday and bought socks.

Yesterday, not knowing what else to do with myself, I went out and bought some more.

Today... Today when I didn't know what to do with myself and went out to buy still more socks, I willed my hand to swerve at the last second and bought a new beard trimmer instead.  Extravagant?  Perhaps.  But I believe it'll actually have been cheaper in the long run if this $25 item has successfully broken a pattern before that pattern could obtain an irresistible hold on me and ruin my life.

I already know that applying a new beard trimmer rather than another new sock to my mustache brings many more compliments.

Not Worthy Of Tomorrow's Tomato Herald Front Page...

... but maybe worthy of a mention in the Births section, eh?

I'm referring to the fact that I harvested my third cherry tomato of the season this morning, of course.

If only I knew what to name it....

Anticipation - It's Keeping ME Waiting, Too

I've know for over a year that I need to have my blacktop driveway resealed.

Today I called a paving company and asked for a free estimate.

Sure, they said.  We'll have someone out there to measure your driveway and give you an estimate.

In 10-14 days.

Funny how that 10-14 days is gonna seem longer than the entire preceding 365....

Milkweed If You Dare

I've wanted to grow milkweed for a long, long time now.

Last week I snagged a seed floating by on its fluffy puff of fluff and decided that the time had finally arrived.

Somewhat to my surprise, the seed actually sprouted in the little plastic container I planted it in.

In fact, it sprouted in just three days.

Or at least a week quicker than a paver can come out to my house and give me an estimate.  (Remember this next time someone tries to tell you that we're the smartest species.)

Current Height of Seedling: 1.5"

I'm generally not the goofy, sentimental type, but I kinda tear up every time I think that just over a year from now, its many, many children might all be floating off to college....

Perhaps Stephen King Once Worked At Kroger's

Stopped at the grocery tonight to pick up a few things.

One of those things involved going to the deli case and asking a worker to get it for us.

We asked for half a pound of the thing.

"Would you mind if I just give you all that's left in the case of the thing?  No extra charge."

No extra charge?

"It's just about time for us to close down and we'll just be throwing the extra thing out."

What a waste!

"Tell me about it.  You wouldn't believe how many rotisserie chickens we throw out every day."


On A Much Brighter Note...

... the woodchuck reappeared in my back yard today!

At 4:59 p.m.

I guess he decided he couldn't bear to stay away from me any longer.

Or perhaps my weeds have finally grown back to a nibble-worthy height.

Probably the latter.

But just possibly the former.

I shan't jinx it by saying another word.

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(©Now by DJ Birtcher even though he'd rather be
bricking up his windows before he accidentally looks outside
and sees a world buried in unwanted rotisserie chickens)


Have you seen the movie entitled "Amelie" yet?  If not, perhaps you should.  It was nominated for best foreign picture.  It's rated #13 on the Internet Movie Database's list of the 250 most popular movies of all time.  And my cat, Jester, makes a cameo appearance one hour and twenty-six minutes into it (including previews).  Yeah, having to read sub-titles when there's so much interesting stuff going on is a pain, but hey - if a pain-free existence is what you're really after, what are you doing reading this journal?  Huh?  HUH??

Another Postscript

According to my newspaper today, nobody knows if the raccoon is descended from bears or weasels.  If YOU know, please drop a quarter in a pay phone and call the Associated Press.

Woodward and Bernstein had to work months and take on a president to become famous.  Here's YOUR chance to become famous almost instantly and with very little effort indeed!

Of course if you'd prefer to hide behind a pseudonym like "Another Deep Throat" or something equally imaginative, that's fine, too.

Especially when you stop and consider that raccoons, bears, and weasels all have sharper teeth and claws than Richard Nixon ever had....