If you're reading this it probably means that you made a conscious decision to disobey my instructions not to read it.
     I like that in a person.
     It shows spunk.  Determination.  Curiosity.  Independence.
     I like those things in a person a lot.
     I mean, I remember what happened in Germany when people just did what they were told.
     I remember Stanley Milgram's "Obedience to Authority" book and "The Tenth Level" movie based on it.  You know - people were told by a man in a white lab coat to administer increasingly more powerful electric shocks to an unseen subject as part of an experiment and most people did so despite the increasingly vehement protests of the (actually unshocked) subject.  Even despite red warning signs next to the dial saying "Danger above this level!"  Even the subject's sudden ominous silence failed to deter them.
    They were just following orders, after all.
     So, congratulations on disobeying my explicit instructions even though I was wearing a white lab coat when I wrote them.
     You're quite amazing, you know, and the more I think about it, the more amazing you seem.
     Although I don't know who you are, it's a safe bet that you're the only person reading this except for me.  The vast majority of people are sheep, after all.  How nice to finally know for sure that I'm writing for an actual thinking human being!
     Feel free to take five minutes to just sit there and feel good about yourself, then come back for a special treat.

     Back?  I guess you must be if you're reading this.
     Feel better?  I hope so.  You deserve to.
     Ready for your special treat?
     OK, here it comes: An explicit description of how my wife and I amused ourselves this afternoon.

     We played the Dictionary Game.
     You know it?  I bet you do, being a smart person and all, but I'll explain it just because I'm anal.
     In the Dictionary Game one person opens the dictionary and chooses a word no sane person would ever know.  He or she then writes it down along with its definition and three bogus definitions that he or she makes up.  The other person's task is to pick the right definition.  For three or more people the rules are a bit different, but there were only two of us here today (Jester choosing not to play) so these are the rules we abided by.
     I started by picking the following word and definitions:

     Probang - 1. A long flexible tube having a tuft or sponge on the end, used in cleaning or medicating the larynx or esophagus.  2. A city in southwestern Thailand.  3. A large suborder of spiny-finned fishes that includes the perches, sunfishes, and groupers.  4. A supporter of the Big Bang theory.

     My wife picked #3.  Do you agree?  (Answers below.)
     That round done, she gave me the following word and definitions:

     Jicama - 1. A small tree native to western Africa with variegated leaves in summer, and yellow berries in winter.  2. A crisp sweet turnip-shaped vegetable used raw in salads or cooked in stews.  3 A pancake of grated potato, usually cooked in olive oil.  4. A stringed instrument popular in Aztec culture often used in ceremonial dances.

     I picked #1.
     My turn to choose again:

     Skeg - 1. A mid-19th century dance movement that British sailors probably first learned in India and spread throughout the British Empire.  2. To flee in a manner implying guilt, shame, or fear (chiefly Scottish).  3. A structure that connects the keel and the stern post of a ship.  4. A length of thread or yarn wound in a loose coil.

     My wife picked #3 and then tossed the following my way:

     Fabliau - 1. Edible pod or seed of any of several beans, especially the kidney bean.  2. A tide that occurs during the first and third quarters of the moon when the difference between high and low tides is the least.  3. A fabric made of silk and rayon woven together, mainly used in theatrical backdrops.  4. A medieval tale characterized by comic treatment of themes drawn from real life.

     I thought #4 was the right definition and then gave her this:

     Calyptra - 1. An Italian form of calliope commonly found at fairs and festivals.  2. A dervish-like dance of Greek origin.  3. The protective cap or hood covering the spore case of a moss or related plant.  4. A brightly colored eel found in the Mediterranean Sea and the Black Sea.

     My wife picked #2.
     She ended the game with the following:

     Slatch - 1. A soft thin leather split off of the outside of sheepskin and used for bookbinding.  2. A momentary lull between breaking waves, favorable for launching a boat.  3. A tool used in cutting keys.  4. A legal document that delineates property lines and measurements foe in property sale and transfer.

     I picked #1.

     For what it's worth, we both got exactly one right.

     That's about all I have to say today.
     Thanks for stopping by, you spunky, determined, curious, independent person you.  It's been a real pleasure writing for someone as special as you!
     Please be sure to not stop by often.  ;)