June272000

Junival 27, 41 A.B.

Scientists Unravel Jester Genome!
Jester Threatens To Bite And Scratch
If They Ever Try To Do It Again!

I'm so glad my cat has mastered the fine art of desktop publishing. I learn the most interesting things with each and every issue of his newspaper....

     My cat is fine, by the way. How could he not be? He has a new catnip-stuffed pig toy. His somewhat similar lion toy scared him at first, but not the pig. Oh, no - Mr. Pig took it in the neck like an old, understanding friend the very first time Jester set eyes on him.
     Anyone wanna be my pig toy?
     Sorry - I withdrawal the question. I don't know what came over me.
     Just temporary insanity induced by residual catnip fumes, I guess....

     Or maybe - just maybe - it's residual excitement leftover from yesterday's sighting of an actual, honest-to-goodness bluebird!
     YES!
     In MY back yard birdbath!!
     First one I've EVER seen!!!

     Sorry - I'll try to control myself.
     It's just that I don't get out much.
     My wife thinks I ought to get out more.
     But if she really thinks that, why has she hidden the key to my door??
     Women....

Speaking of my wife, here's a photo she took of the Thames when she was in London 3 weeks ago:

Alleged Foreign Wetness

     If you go to London, don't expect to see this particular stretch of water, though. She tells me it flowed out into the North Sea shortly after she took its picture.
     Funny how that always happens, isn't it? The saucer always just happens to take off after the farmer has grabbed his camera. Bigfoot always manages to saunter away.
     But hey, I believe her. I mean, I have to live with her, ya know?
     The rest of you can draw your own conclusions....

Which reminds me (for some reason I simply can't fathom) - here's a photo she took while allegedly in Paris:

Alleged Foreign Capital City

I like it because it contains my new, all-time favorite Frenchman:

Alleged Foreign Foreigner

I call him Pierre.

Pierre must NOT be confused with Albert, my new, all-time favorite Englishman:

Alleged Foreign Foreigner #2

I like to think that they named the Albert Hall after Albert here, but of course I can't be sure - especially since this guy's name is probably not Albert at all.

If you can shed any light at all on any of this, please email me.

     Yes, yes, I know - how juvenile. You're sure my wife spent thousands of dollars to go to Europe (plus $59.95 on film) so she could bring home photos of poor, anonymous Europeans just so I could make them my special little friends.
     Well, I'll tell you what - if you know of any Europeans who want the photo of an American they can post, enjoy in odd ways, and even make fun of when there's nothing good on the tube (or the telly, as Albert is wont to say), feel free to tell them to take a photo of me when I'm not looking and use and abuse it all they want.
     Hell, I'll even post a photo of me they can use - just to save 'em the airfare!

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V

The Real Me - Honest

OK, gotta go - bunny in the yard!
AND fireflies!!!!

(If there's no entry tomorrow, it's probably because I died of ecstasy.)

Retreat!

Home Front

Charge!